Motherhood

One thing I know for sure is Motherhood looks differently for every mother. But I also know that motherhood is the same for every mother, in the sense of, we’re all doing what we feel is best for our little ones.

For some it’s a rough road, for some it’s been as easy as pie, and for some it seems best a road untraveled. Whether God blessed you with your own, or He led you down the road to bring your baby home, we’re all mothers loving our blessings to the best of our abilities!

My entire life I’ve felt like my “big questionin life has been, “What is my purpose?” While I believe some people have such a vividly clear vision of their purpose, I believe some it comes later in life in several snapshots of time. For so long I thought my purpose was something in music, but no matter what I did or tried, I never could get a life in music to work for me. I finally realized music was only a blessing to me, not necessarily a purpose.

Motherhood took me by surprise when it felt so right. If you’ve been with me for awhile, you’ve probably read my post about how I never thought I’d want to be a part of motherhood, if you haven’t, you can find it here. So you can imagine what a pleasant surprise and blessing it has been to truly let God mold me into who He wants me to be and to fully give him the reigns. I definitely still struggle with trying to “take control” but it’s when I let go that He showed me my true purpose. Motherhood.

I wouldn’t change a single thing. Some days it’s so incredibly hard and you think you can only bend and bend until you just can’t anymore. At the end of those days, I just try to tell myself, tomorrow is a new day and I have a new chance to be better and do better. I try not to ever let those days spill into my next day. Then some days are so wonderful and fun and so incredibly rewarding. Seeing the world through new eyes as I watch my little bear learn and see new things. To hear his laugh and watch his eyes in little boy wonder. So many little joys fill their days, I can’t help but feel those joys too.

So just remember mama, we’re all in this together and we’re all “figuring it out.” So when you see another mama, give her an encouraging word, or look, or nod. A simple gesture could mean so much to that mama who’s been up since 5, with a baby clinging to her side, trying to get the mountain of dishes done, the load after load of laundry put away, and get food on the table. She may just need to feel understood and seen. Never underestimate your power as an emotional human being.

I never thought I’d be the person to spend so much time wrapped up in one title, but Motherhood is both a mystery and a place that feels like home. Thank God for mothers.

*ASpottedHeart

May on the Ponderosa

Well, here we are starting into June. My oh my, how summer has rushed upon us! It’s been in the upper 80’s low 90’s the last couple weeks, which feels insane to be that warm already. But I will say, we’ve had some nice little thunderstorms! We’re always thankful for rain!!

This month has been full of more brandings for One Cute Cowboy. 2,900 calves in 21 days to be exact!

Started the month off with finishing up the branding at the ranch headquarters and has been gypsy jumping around from ranch to ranch “dayworking” (helping other ranches for a short time), all month!

This time of the year is tough on cowboys because not only are they working long hard days but they have to get their normal jobs completed and cows checked and problems dealt with on their own ranches after “dayworking” for the other ranches. Needless to say, they can turn into VERY long days! No one ever said being a Cowboy’s wife would be easy.

OCC had the yearly branding at my in-laws in New Mexico, just on the other side of Kenton, Oklahoma this month as well. Once again, Lil Cute Cowboy and I decided to stay home since it would be hot, windy, and dusty. This mama bear is still a little overly protective. ☺️

The brand on the calf pictured above is One Cute Cowboy’s great grandpa’s brand. It’s been in his family for 5 generations! Agriculture is all about tradition you know. It’s neat to know that the calves have received this same brand for all of these years.

The bulls of the ranch were finally happy to be placed out in their different pastures for the summer. It’s important to make sure and give the bulls and cows a break from one another. Some of the bulls will be gathered back up in July, and some will get to stay with the cows until October.

Speaking of bulls, we got all of our registered bulls delivered this month as well. It’s a good feeling to have them all placed at good ranches .

One Cute Cowboy and I have our own little herd that got vaccinated and branded this month too. Have I ever told you about Mama, the friendly cow? She’s an older cow that Riley and I got in our first herd right after we got married. She is such a sweetheart, she’ll come right up to eat cake out of your hand (she’s actually usually up in your business trying to see if you actually have any cake in your hands to snatch up!) She always throws us a good little bull calf each year, which we’re always happy to see! She’s talked one of the other mamas into coming up to us too. We call this ‘ol gal Sister.

One of the biggest changes this month on the Ponderosa is I went back to work at my 9 to 5. It’s been incredibly hard leaving Little Bear everyday, but we’re getting more of a routine down and learning and growing. I try to remind myself to just be in the moment and not to dwell on not being with him all day. It’s definitely hard on this mama!

This Lil Ranch Kid is growing like crazy and smiling and laughing and just so much dang fun! Our hearts are full here on the Ponderosa.

Happy June!

*ASpottedHeart

Mama Bear 🐻

I can’t believe my baby bear will be a month old this week! I always thought it was a little silly when I’d hear other moms say this but, Time, slow down already!! I totally get it now, he’s already changing so fast. While I love it, it’s also a little sad because he’s not my little newborn anymore. I never knew I could love being a mom this much. Most of you probably read my Pregnancy Truths post, and know my journey to this point; but even still I never dreamed I would love this stage so much. It can be hard and frustrating and oh-so tiresome, but when this little guy falls asleep on my chest, or his little blue eyes look into mine, I completely melt and it’s hard to imagine life any other way.

Moms, I know I’m not telling you anything new, this isn’t some new revelation on Mom’s loving their children, but it’s a bit of awakening in my own heart that I just want to share I guess.

I didn’t get to share my Lil’ Cute Cowboy’s “full” birthing story last week so I want to share a little more about it with you today.

At 9:30 the night I went into labor, One Cute Cowboy and I had just gotten home from going into town to get supper at Subway. He decided to go check the heifers before coming inside to eat so I went out to the pens with him. There was a heifer whom was clearly having trouble having her calf, so he got her into the chute to pull the calf.

OCC started to pull the calf and was having some difficulty, then the mama went down in the chute which makes it near impossible to continue pulling a calf when a heifer goes down like that. So I was trying with all I could to get her to stand back up while OCC continued to try to save this calf and get it pulled. He asked me to go get a sorting stick, to poke her with,out of the pickup, so here I am 9 months and 1 day over due and I’m at a trot to the pickup so we can get this mama up. (One Cute Cowboy still thinks this is the reason I went into labor.) I got back and OCC had successfully pulled the calf and it was alive and well, but the mama was going to need stitched up. So we got the pickup and trailer and hauled her into the vet to be stitched up and get her back to her calf. We got back to the house around 11:00 and went to bed.

A mere hour and half later I woke up, just like I had been the last 7-8 months, to go to the bathroom, but when I got up, my water broke and I had a really strong and long contraction. I knew the time had finally come! I woke up One Cute Cowboy and he looked at me in disbelief. Haha! Poor guy had been waiting for months to meet his son, and now that it was time he looked at me with a look of shock and said, “right now?!” We got our bags I’d packed a few weeks earlier and headed out the door. Although if you were to ask OCC, he’d say I dilly-dallied. 😏

We said a short prayer together as we left our home and we were on the road to Amarillo. I started having consistent contractions as we pulled out of the drive that were only 5 minutes a part. I must say, at that point OCC and I were pretty scared because they were so close together and we still had a 2 hour drive ahead of us!!! They stayed at a steady 5 minutes apart as One Cute Cowboy drove 90 with his hazards flashing. Praise God for He was watching over us and we made it to Amarillo at 3 a.m.

Once we got to the hospital, time seemed to slow down a bit. They got me in my room and started getting my IV hooked up and my contractions were now starting to get stronger, but still about 5 minutes a part. Something I’d gone back and forth about was whether or not I wanted an epidural. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate needles? Also, I guess I’m a little “crunchy” you could say, and I was torn between not wanting to feel unbearable pain, and wanting to have the full experience of bringing another human being into the world. Let me just tell you, after those contractions started getting stronger, the only thing I could think of is what a saint those women who don’t get epidurals are! I told One Cute Cowboy I had a whole new respect for my Mom who had 3 girls without any medication. So as you may have already guessed, I opted for the epidural and after that, it was a little smoother sailing. OCC and I actually both took naps believe it or not!

About 9 hours later it was time for Bratcher to finally make an appearance. It was the hardest, most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life. The human body is absolutely mind-blowing what it can endure and do! It can be pushed to what feels like it’s limits only to prove to you it can do so much more. God truly did something magnificent when he created us.

When you see that little guy, that’s been inside of you growing and thriving the last 9 months, finally face to face it’s the truest purest form of love at first sight. To know that he is yours is incomprehensible in that moment and there’s an overwhelming feeling of pure joy.

One Cute Cowboy was a complete trooper through the entire process! He never left my side. He got to do his part as well, some pretty amazing Dad stuff! He immediately was handed towels to start drying him off, he cut the umbilical cord, then once he was ready OCC helped measure him, weigh him, and put on his first diaper. A little later he helped give him his first bath. It’s amazing how instantaneously my love also grew for him in those moments.

Now here we are a month later, being parents! My days are all mashed together. Spending most of our time nursing, sleeping, and a little play/reading time each day. OCC and I’s evenings consist of cooing over whatever cuteness Lil Cute Cowboy is serving up and just enjoying being Mom and Dad. One Cute Cowboy has been amazing about making breakfast and supper, cleaning, and making sure LilCC and I don’t want or need for anything! He’s pretty amazing. 😍

Even though it’s incredibly scary to be 100% responsible for another human being, it’s incredibly rewarding to be this little bear’s mama. I thank God everyday for these two Cowboy’s He’s put in my life.

Hope you’ve had a great weekend!

*ASpottedHeart